My love-hate relationship with French Food

2:16 PM |

A lot of you might find this a surprise, but I am not a fan of French food. I lived one year in a small French village. The food was....meh. Even French restaurants in New York City did not really impress me. The only French things that I really like are wine, escargot, cheese, and desserts. A lot of the food I tried was rather plain and boring. Their food is simple. I am not saying there is anything wrong with something being simple. It’s just not my thing. Or as they would say, “Ce n’est pas mon truc.”

Raclette and the human fat it turns into 30 minutes later

There are some French dishes that made me want to vomit. Raclette– potato, cheese and ham. BARF! May as well get a pound of lard and inject it right into my thighs because that is exactly where that meal is going. I did a quick google search to make sure that I spelled Raclette correctly, then looked at some images. The images online are much nicer than reality. When I had it, it was a big disgusting mess of potato, cheese and ham. Then there was this pork apple thing I ordered in a restaurant. The smell of it was nauseating. While in Alsace, I tried their meat stew thingy. I think it was called Baeckeoffe. It looked to me like pieces of dead animal in soup, which then reminded me of that infamous scene from Fatal Attraction when crazy lady boiled that poor rabbit alive. In case you need a visual - I put this little image together in photoshop to give you an idea of EXACTLY what went thorough my mind when I tasted that disgusting crap.

Baeckeoof and a Murdered Bunny Rabbit

I survived in France cooking all my meals at home.

When I told my husband that I was writing a blog about how I do not like French food, he said, “So – French food has made you surrender? You have....given up....on French food?” Yes, those were actual puns. Shameful but true.

Now, let’s move onto the things about French Cuisine that I do like – desserts, wine, cheese and bread. Some say that Crème Brulée was first invented by the Spanish and stolen by the French. The French say they invented it as do the British. I could care less about that controversy. It is kind of like arguing who invented the Ravioli. Many cultures have a version of a stuffed dough thingy like most cultures have a version of the pancake.

My first Crème Brulée will be a basic recipe. Then I will move onto the Crème Brulée à la Naomi, which will be more flavorful, complex with flavor mixing in the dish not on the palate as the French so prefer.

So, get these gross images out of your head because I will have some pretty ones coming soon.